The Mystery of Ward 18 – a poem by Rosalinda Millar
The Mystery of Ward 18 by Rosalinda Millar
The lights were dimmed
As sister made her round
Drowsy patients safely snuggled down
Beyond the window with gentle sighs
The whispering wind sang a lullaby.
Gently, gently, the door clicked shut
Then Sister stiffened – What!
Oh Mercy! what is that?
A rumbling grumbling thunderous sound
It’s sonorous reverberation
resembling a bear in hibernation
Sister said, oh what a pain
Has the central heating gone again.
While a frantic nurse ran to discover
Who the hell switched on the Hoover.
Startled patients clapped their hands around their ears
One yelled – I didnae know that Concorde flew past here!
Louder ever louder in resonance until
even the porter patrolling in the night
looked out to see who might
be working with a big road drill!
Disgruntled patients from sleep disturbed
Nurses growing more perturbed
tried valiantly to find the source of this outpouring
Checked plumbing, windows, and door locks
as the ward vibrated in the after shock.
of the ever growing rumbling and roaring.
Sister in exasperation
said – I want an explanation
for goodness sake
as the floor and walls began to shake.
Her face grew pale, her voice imploring.
From room three a voice called “WHEESHT”!
Dinnae get your knickers in a twist
It’s no the wa’s, the windaes, or the flooring
It’s ower here – It’s Mary – Snoring!